Being a mom is the best job in the world. You get to do things on a daily basis that most people don't- like teach a lesson on lying, change a diaper, identify weird substances smeared on the walls and answer the phone all at the same time. Today while I was puttering about the day-to-day tasks I compiled a mental list of all the fun things that make up a normal day for us. Enjoy!
You Might Be A Mom If....
1) You are afraid to shower because you have to close the door to the bathroom and you can't hear what the kids are doing over the sound of the water.
2) You walk around with barf on your clothes. Regularly.
3) You can't remember the last time you used the restroom alone.
4) You have ever threatened to take someone out of this world, starve them or send them to a third world country to learn some respect and not been eyed suspiciously or arrested.
5) Your normal size purse is being stored somewhere while you lug around a 20 lb bag that should be on wheels. But, you are pretty much prepared for The Apocalypse.
6) You sleep in spurts.
7) You have ever asked another adult if they had to go potty.
8) The "three second rule" varies depending on how tired you are and where the food landed.
9) You believe in and live by the Universal Booger Code which states:
if it's white it's allergies; if it's yellow it's a cold; if it's green call the doctor and inform the receptionist of the sinus infection then try to avoid going into the office.
10) You have ever hidden in a closet, bathroom or bedroom to eat something you didn't want to share.
11) You have watched someone use the restroom at the dinner table and kept on eating.
12) Your medicine cabinet doesn't have any band aids without characters on them.
13) You can't remember the last time you finished a meal before it was cold...or even finished a meal.
14) The only reason you would buy a dog is so you wouldn't have to sweep the floor as often.
15) You have ever apologized to your husband for kissing him goodbye and calling him "Buddy".
16) You use the word "nook" not in reference to an electronic reader but rather to a part of the body that is really hard to get sand out of...usually found next to the cranny.
17) You can dig pretty much anything out of a nostril without breaking a sweat.
18) Your idea of a good date is not having to cut up somebody else's food.
19) You have ever made a complete circle in the opposite direction of where you were headed in Walmart in order to avoid the toy section.
20) You refer to bedtime as "clocking out".
21) You can kiss a cut or scrape and it stops hurting immediately. It's kinda like a super power.
22) You only park next to cart returns.
23) You have ever ended an argument by yelling, "who wants a popsicle?"
24) You can sing the theme song to at least five popular kids shows and yet when you're mad you can't manage to attach the right name to the right person.
25) Someone walks past you in only underwear and sunglasses and you keep on typing.